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7 Reasons to Stop Proving Myself to Everyone Else
I spent a good portion of my life trying to prove my value to other people. I often felt that every person I encountered could see through me and could tell that I wasn’t worth their time or their respect. So, I built an impressive list of qualifications and achievements, just to show everyone how valuable I was. Each time I got a degree or a certification or a anything that showed I was worth taking seriously, I immediately felt lacking once again.
I spent a lot of years covering up my gender dysphoria by checking off box after box of achievements, so I could mask the misery I felt every day.
In 9 days, I will pass the 2nd anniversary of my attempt to leave this world. I didn’t leave a note. I hadn’t spoken to anyone, ever, about the sheer terror of knowing I was transgender. All those accomplishments meant nothing to me if I couldn’t just be who I was. Luckily, I’m also a coward. In the last moment, I couldn’t take my own life.
Coming out of that moment, I took a completely different path. I sought a therapist. I unburdened myself on her, while she slowly helped me find the courage to take the reigns of my life and put it on the path I should have been on all along. Over the next 16 months, I came out to my family, both immediate and extended. I came out to my friends, acquaintances and coworkers. I came…
